Weekly Horoscopes

Aries: There are things in life that seem impossible to accomplish, Aries, but it’s time to believe in yourself and get to work! No matter the size of the task, they are all accomplished by taking the first step and sticking to it.

Taurus: You seem to have developed an unhealthy relationship, Taurus. This relationship with your Sims spouse is getting a little out of hand. It’s time to get reacquainted with the real world, and ask for a break with your spouse.

Gemini: There is a difference between busy and focused, Gemini. Instead of constantly being busy, reevaluate your priorities to see where your time is going, and see if that lines up with who you want to be.

Cancer: Love is in the air, Cancer! And no, it’s not the leftover affects of Valentine’s Day. It’s the fact that Easter chocolate is about to start hitting the shelves. Hold on a little bit longer, your patience will be rewarded.

Leo: Your hanger problem is getting out of control, Leo. It’s not good that you’re sending multiple apology texts a week for what you say when you’re hangry. We recommend having a stash of snacks at all times.

Virgo: Slow and steady wins the race, Virgo. Unless you’re at a pie eating contest, then that probably is not the best strategy to use. Moral of the story: you will need to use multiple strategies in life, all are correct in their own situations.

Libra: Small things in life can hurt the most, Libra. This is mostly applicable to paper cuts. So next time you’re frantically flipping through your textbook because you forgot about a quiz, make sure you don’t get a paper cut.

Scorpio: Instead of goals, set destinations, Scorpio. If you’re looking for a sunrise, go east. If you’re looking for a sunset, go west. So be open minded to what you experience along the way. Happy traveling!

Sagittarius: The world needs more tree huggers, Sagittarius. Not metaphorically, literally. Next time you are walking around and see a tree, got up to it and hug. You never know, you could make that tree’s day. Hugs aren’t just for humans.

Capricorn: Time to be a bit more open minded, Capricorn. But only as open minded as you feel comfortable in. So if you don’t want to jump out of a perfectly good air plane, your probably shouldn’t do that.

Aquarius: You need to let your inner entrepreneur shine through, Aquarius, because a serious issue needs to solved: not enough cereal boxes have toys on the inside. That was half the fun of eating breakfast. So please for all of our sakes, fix this problem.

Pisces: Some nervous habits are okay, and some are just pretty, weird, Pisces. You should probably stop hissing at people when you’re nervous around someone. While you may love cats, keep the hissing at a minimum.