Cut the umbilical cord: Why parents need to learn to let go

As an avid student leader on campus, I have encountered a lot of parents that I would consider to be way too overbearing. I understand that you care, that your money is invested in your child, and you only want what’s best for them, but students need to learn their own lessons and learn to handle situations maturely and professionally. As a parent, you should NOT be contacting professors, staff, organizations or even peers. If there’s an issue in any aspect of your child’s life, THEY should be the ones taking care of it. You’re merely there for support and advice, not the person who takes over everything. Here’s the problem: when you handle all of your child’s issues, they never develop the skills to effectively communicate and handle situations. College isn’t just about taking classes. It’s supposed to round you out as a whole, including learning to communicate with the people around you. Whether the issue is personal or professional, it is up to the student to sort it out. As a college student, your child is an adult. They’re building a rapport with departments and professors. They’re earning THEIR degree; their name ends up on the diploma, even if you paid for that education. Let them learn. You may think you’re helping your child by intervening, but you’re actually just making it worse. At this level, professors, employers, campus leaders and peers expect that someone is able to handle themselves properly without the interference of a parent. By interfering, not only are you doing your child a disservice by not allowing them to learn life lessons, but you’re also frustrating the professors, staff, student leaders and/or peers you’re contacting because it’s not your place. Another big “no-no” is skipping right to the top instead of working your way up the chain of command. Understandably, you’re protective, but don’t blow situations out of proportion and go running to the highest person in the chain of command. Whether it is a campus department or a job, the people who work there have a job to do; they don’t need you bringing a minimal issue to their attention. It’s a waste of their time, and you’re burdening them with unnecessary drama. I have heard people at all levels of the chain of command (in quite a few different departments) venting their frustrations about overbearing, “helicopter” parents. Fellow students: don’t let your parents intervene! You need to confront your parents and explain that you need to learn to handle this yourself. Quit riding their coattails, allowing them to handle everything for you. You’re not a baby anymore; this is your time to grow up. College is here to prepare you for the real world, and one day your parents won’t be there to solve all of your problems. By sitting back and accepting the fact that your parents are overstepping their boundaries only further disadvantages you. Get the best college education you can, on all levels, on your OWN accord.