Keep the love alive by putting time into your relationship

Spending time with a special one this Valentine’s Day may sound sweet and romantic but remember that relationships take a lot of work, time and devotion. No matter what stage you are in, staff psychologist Dr. Jessica Moss offers advice and counsel to anyone in or seeking a relationship.

“There's no single definition for a healthy relationship. What's ‘too clingy’ for one person is perfect for another,” Moss said. “I think it's up to each person to define ‘healthy’ for him or herself. In order to do so, I suggest that people consider their own values, beliefs, preferences and needs. Once one is aware of how they define health in a relationship and understand their own feelings, they can make better informed decisions about whether or not to continue in the relationship and communicate with a partner about things they would like to be different.”

There are common practices that every couple should do. Couples should have clear communication, make time and sacrifices for each other and respect each other and their boundaries.

“I think that any relationship, including friendships and romantic relationships, can benefit from clear communication,” Moss said. “Relationships often go better when each person communicates clearly about what he or she wants and needs instead of expecting that the other person will be able to understand without being told.”

Moss suggested that couples benefit from scheduling time to devote to their relationship and focus on the positive aspects of the relationship even if things are not going well.

“A good point to remember is that relationships require time and energy - they will not maintain themselves,” Moss said.

The point of a relationship is to learn about one’s self and what one wants in a future spouse. Relationships should not be about the physical but rather a close friendship between one another.

If a relationship is struggling or one person is in need of support, encourage the other person and ask how one could be of support.

“Guessing is often not productive,” Moss said.

If in need of more support or counsel, seek the Counseling and Wellness Service for individual, group or couples therapy located in the Student Union 053. If there is any type of abuse in the relationship, Wright State offers assistance at The Women’s Center and the Artemis Center located in the Dayton area.