Horoscopes for September 3 - 9
ARIES - Your spirit animal this week is a sloth! Much like this very nail conscious creature, you need to take some time to slow down and rest dear Aries. We suggest getting your hammock out and napping this week!
TAURUS - Have you been quoting too many vines lately Taurus? Your peers might be getting annoyed from your references. We suggest finding a new set of memes to quote. Start creating your own and begin a trend. Get that verified check by your name on Twitter this week!
GEMINI - Have you felt trapped under a storm cloud Gemini? Well open up that umbrella and use it! Learn to play in the rain and you will find life is more fun, also ducklings. You will find lots of ducklings during rain showers.
CANCER - Spending too much time on your phone lately dear crab? Put it on do not disturb and save the selfies for later! Grab a friend irl to go hike or bike ride this week!
LEO - Your routine is becoming a little mundane Leo. Try exploring outside your comfort zone and visit an art museum. Culture yourself a little with some historical art, that’s always a solid conversation starter!
VIRGO - Your spirit animal this week dear Virgo is a shrimp. Did you know that the heart of this tiny sea creature is located in its head? Much like your thoughts this week, your heart is taking over your headspace. You must be in love.
LIBRA - Are you holding back a secret Libra? Has something been weighing on your chest lately? Make sure you don’t hold back what’s been on your mind lately. Talking about it will help. Just don’t tweet about it.
SCORPIO - We know you’ve been saving sad tumblr posts lately Scorpio. It’s okay we won’t tell anyone. Try a new self care routine! There’s hundreds of bath bombs to try and we think that could do the trick.
SAGITTARIUS - There may be someone in your life that you don’t agree with Sagittarius. Choose your battles wisely this week as the moon goes through its phases you will know how to approach this person.
CAPRICORN - Paper bags aren’t any better for the environment dear Capricorn. So when you go to the store it's okay to use plastic. Don’t let the hipsters criticize your choices.
AQUARIUS - Banging your head against a wall for one hour can burn 150 calories but why would you do something so painful? Just eat the candy bar Aquarius. It’s okay.
PISCES - It’s time to get away for a bit Pisces. Your schedule has exhausted you physically and emotionally recently. However the semester just started and skipping class this early on isn’t a great idea. We suggest finding a corner in the library and hiding from others with a good book and tea. Close enough to vacation right?
